Why is it so confusing!!!???

When I lost him......... I felt so lonely. I cried. When I saw him with another girl I was sad........ I cried. I screamed. Very loud. Made my friend crying too. When I started forgetting him. It was almost successed. Then he came again to me, and told me that he loves me. I was with him again. Then...suddenly I felt that he just using me. So I asked him to go away. I had promised to myself that I wouldn't care about him anymore and forgetting him. So I could. I have said to my friends that my feeling has been free and I already like another boy and singing Fugu's song "here today". But he... He still calling me. Sms-ing me. And telling me that he still loves me. Hey boy, you already have a girl!! WTF?! ..........then I doubt my own feeling. I can't lie to my own feeling. Do I still love him? 'Cause I never wanna see his fb or his story anymore. I'm afraid. Afraid to cry again. Why when I have sure that I'm free the doubt feeling comes?! WHY LOVE IS SO CONFUSING. Oh bloody hell!